May 26, 2015

do you cry without even knowing that you are?
the remnants of dried tears in the morning mirror...

a hard night, 
the wrestling with my humanity and my Lord's sovereignty.
His bombs of clarity were hard to take and i resorted to fight.

is it really 'happy' for someone when your heart cringes in...
what is it? ..jealousy? bitterness?

the heart cringes in the truths.
the screaming truths that some paths may meet but they never really do.
they don't "walk along", they don't even "pass by".

a mirage - it simply just is.
the feeling of - wish it were, wish it could.

where do you go with the questions and feelings that now linger and have sunk a dead weight into the god-forsaken parts of a heart and mind?

illegal.
without liberty.

the sun rises and it wont freeze for even the most heart-wrenching of pleas.

to sit still and watch it rise or,
walk away.

walk away while the air still teases with night.

May 22, 2015




my mind, heart, emotions, ...every.fiber.of.my.being.
have been
...lost.

lost in the highs of given experiences and its motions and questions.
lost in the stories and lives i now feel so intertwined with.

and so i have been struggling.
the conscious decisions i have been making,
the resulting in tangible disconnection from the One i love.

today, He swooped in and recaptured me.
all.of.me.

once again He took a hold on my dreams, desires, plans, emotions...
gently He returned them to their respective crystal-glass boxes and,
smiled - like we just shared a secret.

i guess we did.
aahh, that scent of hope.

i don't know how He did it, how He does it
and the why He keeps pursuing my fickle heart.

"then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him, and He disappeared from their sight. they asked each other, 'were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?'"
- Luke 24:31

i want my heart to burn.

May 16, 2015




the moment you know you shouldn't want what you want.
the knowing right from wrong but ignoring the heat of sunrise...

don't fall, don't fall in.

May 12, 2015



"we always meet twice, senorita", said he.

reality knows the chances of that. and so, i write.
i write to never forget this 3,000+ miles to our very first handshake,
a tangible memory of a dude i once met...

he awoken such good.

May 10, 2015


somewhere between Jaipur and Jodphur
somewhere between a red light and approaching speed
somewhere between my heart and Abba's pen.

this track now before my feet
doesn't feel like a dead-end.